A Sydney-free Christmas

It hasn't sunk in yet, but Christmas and the New Year are around the corner. All the familiar cues I usually associate with Christmas are missing; it isn't hot, the smell of mangoes ripening in the fruitbowl is missing, and there haven't been any Christmas party barbeques on the beach, no beers in a mate's yard. Instead, it's chilly and beautifully snowy at the moment.

It won't be a Boston Christmas for me however. In two days I'm off to London to visit my cousin, and then we're off to Spain where I'll spend my New Years Eve in Barcelona. Since I've never been to the UK or Spain I'm bloody excited, plus reaching London will only take 6 and 1/2 hours, as opposed to the gruelling ~24 hour Sydney to London travel time.

I think travelling overseas is a rite of passage for many young Australians. It isn't uncommon for Australian high-school leavers to spend a year or so overseas (typically in the UK) before starting university or a full-time job, and almost everyone I know has travelled abroad as much as possible. Perhaps it's just the adventurous and friendly nature of many Australians that sends us across the globe to meet new people. Living on our own continent, and being so geographically isolated, maybe travelling helps us Aussies reconnect with the rest of humanity. Whatever it is, I can't wait to travel again.

I've been fortunate enough to have visited several countries in Europe and Asia, but the map of unvisited countries and the empty space in my passport gnaws at my desire to travel. Travelling forces you to break free from the comfort of routine life and embrace new experiences (and people if you're lucky...). Regardless of the destination, every trip for me has been a lesson in independence, creativity and endurance. Plus, to encounter the generosity and genuine friendliness of strangers whilst visiting a poorer country is a humbling experience, it gives a refreshing perspective to life.

The tourism of death. Travelling the globe is often about visiting the burial places of renowned dead people. From top to bottom: Reverently file past the embalmed body of Ho Chi Minh in Hanoi, Vietnam; Take a donkey ride to the burial place of the Pharaohs at the Valley of the Kings in Luxor, Egypt; Check out Napoleon’s oversized coffin (and the ceiling paintjob) in Paris, France; No dead people, but the Museum of Natural History, New York, USA is a remarkable resting place for dinosaurs and animals from across the globe and history.

The past week has been bloody hectic, but now that it's over, I can concentrate on packing etc. for my impending trip. Here are a few sites that I use for my travel plans:

Tickets: Cheaptickets, Kayak and Expedia (also for accommodation)
Accommodation: Hostelworld, Venere

Avoid the horrors of "Seat 29E" (I highly recommend viewing the hilarious, original customer complaint by clicking the link to the PDF) by using Seatguru to make the best choice for your airplane seat.

For those overpackers amongst us, pack your luggage efficiently and keep your shirts wrinkle-free by following this diagram and these tips on "bundle wrapping".

If you are travelling soon, keep safe, have fun and be nice to any Aussies you might meet along the way.

Before he left the States recently, Ex-flatmate was kind enough to give me a book entitled "Conversational Spanish in 7 Days", which should make my Spain travels considerably easier. I'm not entirely confident of the book's 7 day claim, but if a Spaniard should ask me "Puede cambiar el neumatico?" I can definitely say "Si".

The soundtrack to survival

We've all had moments in life when everything seems to be spiralling out of control. Desperate, lost and unhappy, you seek solace in friends, family and the pub. Reassured, soothed and tipsy, you're now ready to reclaim your life. If life was a movie, the soundtrack to your heroic rising from the ashes would include the following life-giving tunes, so if you've had a rough trot recently, crank up the volume and loosen the vocal chords. Sing, dance, and feel good.

Project Playlist

'Til the End, by The Living End (Aussies), lyrics
Lateralus, by Tool, lyrics
Mr. Brightside, by The Killers, lyrics
Time is Running Out, by Muse, lyrics

Pick You Up, by Powderfinger (Aussies), lyrics


Ready 1, by Grinspoon (Aussies), lyrics


Your Song, by Groove Armada (the only online source for this was on this pony video....enjoy!)


Schwingin, by Bionikworld (Aussies), Myspace

Pissed off again (rant)

Just a warning that there's another rant in the following paragraphs. Feel free to skip it, I won't be offended. Really. My non rant news is that about a foot of snow blanketed the city today. It was the light, fluffy stuff, perfect for snowmen and snowball fights. With little wind, and not too cold outside, today I experienced a beautiful Boston winter's day. OK, so back to the rant...

I inadvertently pissed off a work colleague yesterday. Even now, I'm not exactly sure what the hell happened, except today he indicated that I am no longer worthy of his company. The workmate in question is a prickly character who is quite critical about many subjects, with his favourite topic being the uselessness of our boss. However he had previously been quite friendly with me, so despite his quiet, severe demeanor, we got along well, often grabbing coffee together etc. Plus his cynical hostile nature is partly due to his unhappiness with the lab and desire to leave, so I've previously excused/ignored his somewhat abrasive disposition during our interactions. He's not the most social person so we didn't interact outside of lab hours, but since his wife is overseas at the moment we recently had dinner together. All was well.

What precipitated the demise of our friendship is still unclear to me, except I know it was totally trivial and ridiculous. Basically we were talking about the pros and cons of a particular scientific technique and he kept raising a few points that I didn't understand clearly. This was due to several factors, including his imperfect English, tendency to mumble, and long-winded way of reaching his point. Whatever it was, the conversation was going in circles. Responding to his ultra passive-aggressive manner throughout the discourse, I became increasingly frustrated, but not angry, by his nonsensical speech. He became increasingly irritated, and angry, by my comments.

Anytime I tried to steer the conversation to neutral territory I was immediately cut-off by some random rant, stating that he didn't care about the point I was raising. In the beginning I got the feeling he was asking in a round about fashion for help with something about the technique we were discussing, but whenever I volunteered advice, it was instantly shot down with a haughty "You think I don't know that already". Actually, it was "I don't give a shit about that".

Anyway, it was the most insane conversation (?) I've had in a long time and it ended when someone came and asked me for help with something. His reaction to our small disagreement was ignoring me for the rest of the afternoon, despite me trying to initiate polite conversation.

This morning my attempts at friendliness were deflected with frosty disdain. I apologized to him (profusely!) if I upset him in any way, tried to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation and basically said let's forgive and forget, move on and be on friendly terms again.

He passively-aggressively declined my offer. He no longer wants to speak/lunch with/have coffee with me.

What a motherfucker.

His reasons were again confusing, but part of it was something along the lines of him not wanting to be dealing with immature people of my age (he's late 30's), which is ironically child-like I think.

Showing the true character of this one-time alleged 'friend', he remarked that he didn't give a shit about losing a friend, and that gaining another is easily done. It's amusing to me that apart from myself and his bay-buddy Ariel (who I'm very close with), he does not get along socially at all with anyone else in the lab. Ariel is away on holidays at the moment, so she is unaware of the situation, but I know that she also has been increasingly fed up with her bay-mates acid tongue, so I anticipate he will sadly have no friendly colleagues in the lab once she hears of his absurd behaviour.

I'm proud of the way I handled the situation because I didn't get baited by his provocative, and arrogantly dismissive comments during our initial "discussion". My responses were logical and I was constantly trying to defuse the escalating situation, which inexplicably seemed to make him more aggravated. After receiving his infantile silent treatment post-"discussion", I tried to reconcile the problem in a professional manner, by being apologetic, opening dialogue and trying to determine how we could move forward from the misunderstanding. Yeah, so I was basically being a "doormat" in an attempt to salvage a friendship with a complete twat. Pathetic, I know.

Unfortunately I am now internally seething with immense rage about the situation. I'm just itching to go up to him and yell right into his face, a big, loud, good old, "FUCK. YOU!". Screaming those two words at him would make me unbelievably happy. It's all I'm asking for. OK, maybe I'd also let him know how much of a prick he really is and what a miserable, unreasonable and bitter man he's shown himself to be.

(Since beginning my rant, I've released some of my latent rage at the gym, so I'm feeling better now.)

A great day

I penned the following back in March in order to preserve the memory but didn't post it for various reasons. There's no particular reason why I'm posting it now, except I was kinda sick of it hanging around in my drafts folder, plus it's always nice to relive good memories instead of dwelling on negatives all the time.

March 17, 2007.
Two reasons made it a great day.

The first reason came via email. It was a message that I had longed to see for four and a half months. The last reviewer of my PhD thesis had finally returned their critique of my thesis to the university, and the comments were positive. Although it wasn't official yet, it basically meant that my PhD had been passed. I was bloody ecstatic. I immediately told my mum and family and started capering around the house like an idiot.

After becoming increasingly jaded and ambivalent through my postgraduate studies, I didn't think I'd be so happy to know that I'd finally earned my PhD. I'm not someone who cares about titles, but Dr. Ben had a nice ring to it at that moment.

The second reason for the great day started when I got asked for proof-of-age identification when I went to buy a bottle of sauvignon blanc at the bottleshop. Sure, the guy that carded me was about 75 years old and probably had failing eyesight, but the fact remains, I was asked to prove that I was over 18. Yay for me....

Anyway, the New Zealand sauvignon blanc was for dinner with my closest mates (Ex-flatmate, Ace, GK, Entrepreneur and The Scotsman) at the Sugaroom restaurant in Pyrmont, a suburb near the Sydney city centre. The restaurant was of the fancy variety, with $25-30 mains, stylish decor and well-heeled clientèle, but it was my farewell dinner so we splashed out a bit.

Actually, it was my final farewell dinner. My move to the US had unexpectedly been delayed several weeks due to visa issues, so we already had a few 'farewell' get-togethers previously. The running joke was that everyone was tired of sending me off (read: tired of shouting me farewell drinks) and just wished I had left already. This time it really was goodbye and it felt surreal.

The restaurant was swanky and waterfront, but amongst ugly tracts of undeveloped land and the occasional complex of modern apartments. It was a strange location. The restaurant service was a tad slow at times but the modern Australian fare arrived quickly and my prosciutto wrapped chicken on top of a risotto-bean mix was great. The dessert sampler of chocolate pudding, intensely rich chocolate cake, cream and mixed berries on the side was also a winner. Our five bottles of wine attracted $8 corkage per bottle, but the pricing sting was somewhat soothed by the pleasant plonk. The meal passed quickly and since it had become increasingly rare for all of us to catch-up, it was good to have our little group all together again (minus Surfermate who had moved out of Sydney a few years back).

That meal was momentous in my mind, as it would be the last time for us to hang out together for a long while. The farewell turned into a semi-celebration as I told everyone my PhD had unofficially passed. I'm sure they were happy to know I finally had my PhD as it meant that there would be no more tedious bitching about how long it was taking everytime we talked.

After dinner we lost a few bucks at the nearby casino, danced at Liquid Buzz in the Agincourt Hotel and Ex-flatmate, The Scotsman and I ended the night with one final drink at the Columbian Hotel on Oxford St. It was a big night and the sun was up as I somehow made my way home.

The evening was one of laughs, catching-up and reminiscing. It was also a celebration of the new that overwhelmed the underlying tinge of somberness and resistance that is associated with change.

I knew that we would have more fun nights out in the future, so there was a sense of numb sadness mixed with joy as I hugged people goodbye when they left at various times throughout the night. I consider myself lucky to have had the opportunity to celebrate such a moment with mates that I've shared my life with since high school.

That day is marked as a turning point in my life. I had finally (albeit unofficially) gone from postgraduate student to postdoctoral fellow, plus, it marked the start of the last week for me before The Big Move.

It truly was a great day.
March 17, 2007.