***NB: I wrote the entry below early May 2008, more than two years ago, when I was in the midst of a depressive episode, but I have not posted it, yet it is as applicable now as ever. It seems we can never escape our true selves, no matter how hard one might try to improve themselves. Actually, that's not necessarily true, but I know that it takes a long time, years even, to tweak your ones personality for the better; yay, psychotherapy! I'm now back in Australia, unemployed and drifting for three or so months, the happy memories of Boston-living already fading into non-existence. My postdoc has yielded two middle-author Cell papers under my belt and I should be proud of my achievement but I am not. In all likelihood my research will be an insignificant footnote in the annals of scientific discovery, rather than the 'helping humanity' intentions I once held as a junior scientist.
Being back in the same claustrophobic, toxic, dysfunctional family setting that I once escaped, has been rather crippling and much more difficult than I had expected. It seems the positive changes I made in Boston were still rudimentary, showing that I am far less resilient than I had hoped. Still, like Camus' Sisyphus, there is no choice but to continue rolling the boulder up the hill with the knowledge that it will fall, in this bizarre circumstance that is life.***
I'm scared. When I look to the future, things are so uncertain. Happiness and peace of mind have eluded my thoughts for as long as I can remember. I shouldn't have anything to complain about really, but I do and it worries me. When I look at who I am, I see an insecure, scared and increasingly cynical man who is living the illusion of a young, professional guy that is making the most of his life by living the 'dream' of working overseas, having new adventures and being carefree. I already know that my career will not give me happiness, as I am already somewhat accomplished in this regard, yet ultimately it leaves me unsatisfied. I have the meaninglessly fancy title of Doctor, I work at one of the world's most prestigious universities, and my research has been published in an important scientific journal and has even made prime-time news. My career has given me neither monetary security or underlying joy. I keep telling myself that I have great friends and a loving family, so why do I feel so disconnected with everything around me. I'm finding it harder and harder to feel comfortable in group social settings for some reason. I feel awkward, unintelligent and unimportant. When I'm with a guy I really like, or with a bunch of great people laughing and joking together I feel isolated and like an outsider who can't really connect with them for some reason. It's frustrating. It's always a battle to get what you want in life, but I spend most of my life battling myself, rather than fighting to move forward. What does the future hold and why should one keep fighting for it? One driving factor I'd imagine for a lot of people are for family and kids. Another reason would be for those great, fun moments where life actually does feel great. Those great moments are so fleeting to me that their memories disappear into the blackness of my mind more often than not.
28 June 2010
10 October 2009
Buffalo buffalo; what assholes!
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. [Link]
That is all.
That is all.
2 October 2009
8 films to make you cry.
Need a cry? Watch these (in no particular order):
1. The Iron Giant.
2. Marley and Me.
3. Dear Zachary -- if you don't know what this movie is about, I suggest watching it without looking up any info (not even reading the description on the DVD case) to achieve maximum emotional affect.
4. The Kite Runner -- based on the best-selling book by Khaled Hosseini.
5. Brokeback Mountain -- a modern queer twist on the classic Romeo & Juliet archetype.
6. C.R.A.Z.Y -- another great gay flick; in French.
7. 3:10 to Yuma -- an intense, pacy, intelligent modern-Western.
8. Raise the Red Lantern -- some beautiful cinematography in this Chinese film.
I bet that at least one of the above flicks will get those eyeballs leaking, and depending on your emotional fortitude they may all cause some tears. They all did for me.
1. The Iron Giant.
2. Marley and Me.
3. Dear Zachary -- if you don't know what this movie is about, I suggest watching it without looking up any info (not even reading the description on the DVD case) to achieve maximum emotional affect.
4. The Kite Runner -- based on the best-selling book by Khaled Hosseini.
5. Brokeback Mountain -- a modern queer twist on the classic Romeo & Juliet archetype.
6. C.R.A.Z.Y -- another great gay flick; in French.
7. 3:10 to Yuma -- an intense, pacy, intelligent modern-Western.
8. Raise the Red Lantern -- some beautiful cinematography in this Chinese film.
I bet that at least one of the above flicks will get those eyeballs leaking, and depending on your emotional fortitude they may all cause some tears. They all did for me.
29 August 2009
So-long Summer.
Summer is over. The temperature is dropping and I'm sad to think that many months of cold weather is looming. Bostonians live by seasons and all in all, it was a pretty crappy summer weatherwise. I am super tanned though, as I tried to take advantage of every nice day by being outside, whether it be sitting along the Charles River watching sailboats, joggers and amazing eye-candy stroll by while catching up on the phone with dear Fariyal in Chicago, or by spending a very pleasant day canoeing with the lab in Ipswich.
I'm really going to miss Boston. There was a free concert by a Boston orchestra at the Hatchshell along the river the other evening. Sitting/lying down in the open air, with Sven and Sue for company, enjoying Mozart's Symphony No. 41 was so relaxing and fun.
It's the season for getting married it seems. Three friends of mine have tied the knot the past week, congratulations to them all, especially Aussie-mate Nick. I was sad to miss it, but from all accounts a great time was had by all.
My other news is that Emre and I visited Washington DC the other weekend. DC is a very nice city, lots to see and do (all the Smithsonian Museums, and monuments, White House etc.), it was super hot and gorgeously sunny throughout. Highlights were seeing the Lincoln memorial by night and the random stroll along the river to get there from the very pretty suburb of Georgetown, our very cheap but swanky hotel room at the Renaissance, and seeing the Apollo 11 return module and associated miscellaneous moon stuff -- the silver case that carried the moon rocks back for example. Also the giant squid on display in the Natural History Museum was funky.
Overall I'm in a good mood here.
I'm really going to miss Boston. There was a free concert by a Boston orchestra at the Hatchshell along the river the other evening. Sitting/lying down in the open air, with Sven and Sue for company, enjoying Mozart's Symphony No. 41 was so relaxing and fun.
It's the season for getting married it seems. Three friends of mine have tied the knot the past week, congratulations to them all, especially Aussie-mate Nick. I was sad to miss it, but from all accounts a great time was had by all.
My other news is that Emre and I visited Washington DC the other weekend. DC is a very nice city, lots to see and do (all the Smithsonian Museums, and monuments, White House etc.), it was super hot and gorgeously sunny throughout. Highlights were seeing the Lincoln memorial by night and the random stroll along the river to get there from the very pretty suburb of Georgetown, our very cheap but swanky hotel room at the Renaissance, and seeing the Apollo 11 return module and associated miscellaneous moon stuff -- the silver case that carried the moon rocks back for example. Also the giant squid on display in the Natural History Museum was funky.
Overall I'm in a good mood here.
30 July 2009
G & T
I'm sipping a lovely Gin and Tonic after a rewarding day at work. The sun set four hours ago but it's still hot enough to make you sweat. I saw a ridiculous number of uber hot dudes on my way home earlier, so all in all, a good day :-). I'm definitely going to miss Boston.
7 July 2009
Moisture
It's been raining on and off (mostly on) for the better part of four weeks. After 6 months of winter/cold, summer is the only saving grace for Boston weather, so having continuously rainy, overcast, dreary and generally depressing weather during our supposed summer months really sucks. Boston summers are usually very hot and humid, but with superb clear blue skies. Not this year though. This is the worst summer Boston has ever had according to a local Bostonian work colleague. In my three years here, I wholeheartedly agree. I'm currently generally grumpy, depressed and pissed off. This summer sucks.
13 June 2009
Ben's random diary of recentish events.
Wow, it's been a while since I last updated here. Needless to say oodles of things have happened in the interim; so much that I'll just write what pops into my head instead of crafting a structured entry.
- trip to Sydney on my 2 year expat anniversary. Seeing everyone again, being babysat by various friends during my week of couch surfing, dinner and marvelous views at Ripple's, hanging out at Darling Harbour, celebrating Nathan's 30th with everyone, the list goes on....
- having a pleasant dinner cruise with the family on the Harbour for Brother's birthday. Fantastic weather, standing on the top deck soaking in the sun setting behind the Bridge and Opera House. Two brothers hanging out again, smiling, and enjoying the moment. No stress.
- getting my Maton tuned up and belting out a few tunes on a beautiful guitar.
- returning to Boston to find Emre at the airport for a surprise welcome home, plus entering my apartment and finding fresh fruit, yogurt, bread and other goodies in the kitchen courtesy of Sue and Till. They definitely spoil me. Also discovering that Till's brother and girlfriend, who I let stay in my apartment while they were visiting during my absence, had bought Fetch a new, large aquarium to lounge around in as thanks for my hospitality. Sven calling to welcome me back and letting me know how much he had missed me.
I had left home, flown to the opposite side of the globe and arrived home again.
Awesome.
- Had a really relaxed and super enjoyable time a few weekends ago that for some reason sticks in my head although nothing extraordinary happened. Ran 5km along the river in gorgeous weather and people watched afterwards; played guitar; cooked a killer spag bol; and generally enjoyed being in a good mood.
- I saw my future husband the other day, well dream-husband anyway. Light brown hair, sunglasses, green shirt and white shorts on a drool worthy body. Hot.
- Ash and GK swinging by Boston on their US trip. We drank, ate and were merry. Brief, but fantastic. Glad I could share a slice of my Boston-life with them.
- Seeing Gomez play. Wow, are those guys talented. Vocals were outstanding, guitar work was impressive and a very good vibe in a pleasant venue.
- learning to sing and play guitar at the same time with some success but still a lot of work to go. Trying to nail "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) by Greenday. Thanks Nathan for getting me started on this!
- meeting Maynard James Keenan, lead singer of Tool, the other week at a wine signing. Not only do I have a couple of bottles of plonk with MJK's autograph, but I got a "thanks man" from MJK himself. Sweet!
- The big decision to end my postdocing and potentially leaving science next year. Yep, it's homeward bound for me in March. Bloody scary but super exciting. Kinda like going skydiving I imagine, except unlike the certainty of gravity, I have no idea where I'll land.
- Michael Jackson died today. He was an incredibly messed up man but produced some incredible music, and who can forget the moonwalk. Sad.
- Had fun at a lab party the other weekend that was held at a colleagues (Tom) place. He lives in the sticks in a house his grandfather built. It's more of a small farm really, with fields and tractors and sheds full of plows, bansaws and other manly equipment. Played ping pong against the boss, pitched for our team in Whiffle ball (baseball but with a plasticky ball) and belted a few around the ground, had a few hits at badminton and sunk a few beers in between glasses of Tom's Twisted Tea (tea with vodka and a few secret ingredients). There were quite a few kids running around playing games with the grown ups, which made me think a bit about whether I'll end up having kids or not -- I'd like to but the odds are stacked against me. Maybe I'll have to make do with getting a pet dog or something in the future.
- watching the new Doctor Who series over Netflix. Bloody entertaining, hilarious and jolly good fun all around. Highly recommended.
- someone's yelling in the street. No words. Just a primal bellow every now and again. Sounds like someone's a tad frustrated or angry, wonder what happened...
- trip to Sydney on my 2 year expat anniversary. Seeing everyone again, being babysat by various friends during my week of couch surfing, dinner and marvelous views at Ripple's, hanging out at Darling Harbour, celebrating Nathan's 30th with everyone, the list goes on....
- having a pleasant dinner cruise with the family on the Harbour for Brother's birthday. Fantastic weather, standing on the top deck soaking in the sun setting behind the Bridge and Opera House. Two brothers hanging out again, smiling, and enjoying the moment. No stress.
- getting my Maton tuned up and belting out a few tunes on a beautiful guitar.
- returning to Boston to find Emre at the airport for a surprise welcome home, plus entering my apartment and finding fresh fruit, yogurt, bread and other goodies in the kitchen courtesy of Sue and Till. They definitely spoil me. Also discovering that Till's brother and girlfriend, who I let stay in my apartment while they were visiting during my absence, had bought Fetch a new, large aquarium to lounge around in as thanks for my hospitality. Sven calling to welcome me back and letting me know how much he had missed me.
I had left home, flown to the opposite side of the globe and arrived home again.
Awesome.
- Had a really relaxed and super enjoyable time a few weekends ago that for some reason sticks in my head although nothing extraordinary happened. Ran 5km along the river in gorgeous weather and people watched afterwards; played guitar; cooked a killer spag bol; and generally enjoyed being in a good mood.
- I saw my future husband the other day, well dream-husband anyway. Light brown hair, sunglasses, green shirt and white shorts on a drool worthy body. Hot.
- Ash and GK swinging by Boston on their US trip. We drank, ate and were merry. Brief, but fantastic. Glad I could share a slice of my Boston-life with them.
- Seeing Gomez play. Wow, are those guys talented. Vocals were outstanding, guitar work was impressive and a very good vibe in a pleasant venue.
- learning to sing and play guitar at the same time with some success but still a lot of work to go. Trying to nail "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) by Greenday. Thanks Nathan for getting me started on this!
- meeting Maynard James Keenan, lead singer of Tool, the other week at a wine signing. Not only do I have a couple of bottles of plonk with MJK's autograph, but I got a "thanks man" from MJK himself. Sweet!
- The big decision to end my postdocing and potentially leaving science next year. Yep, it's homeward bound for me in March. Bloody scary but super exciting. Kinda like going skydiving I imagine, except unlike the certainty of gravity, I have no idea where I'll land.
- Michael Jackson died today. He was an incredibly messed up man but produced some incredible music, and who can forget the moonwalk. Sad.
- Had fun at a lab party the other weekend that was held at a colleagues (Tom) place. He lives in the sticks in a house his grandfather built. It's more of a small farm really, with fields and tractors and sheds full of plows, bansaws and other manly equipment. Played ping pong against the boss, pitched for our team in Whiffle ball (baseball but with a plasticky ball) and belted a few around the ground, had a few hits at badminton and sunk a few beers in between glasses of Tom's Twisted Tea (tea with vodka and a few secret ingredients). There were quite a few kids running around playing games with the grown ups, which made me think a bit about whether I'll end up having kids or not -- I'd like to but the odds are stacked against me. Maybe I'll have to make do with getting a pet dog or something in the future.
- watching the new Doctor Who series over Netflix. Bloody entertaining, hilarious and jolly good fun all around. Highly recommended.
- someone's yelling in the street. No words. Just a primal bellow every now and again. Sounds like someone's a tad frustrated or angry, wonder what happened...
13 October 2008
Montreal
So it's Fall again and life is pretty slow at the moment. The only significant happenings was a trip to Montreal last weekend with Sven. Montreal is a nice city, not spectacular, but pleasant. Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster that Sven is fluent in French though. He was even teaching me some, which I've mostly forgotten already.
Highlights of the trip were; seeing the spectacular autumn foliage on the way up and back through hilly Vermont, plus the awesome bridges over the lakes in upper Vermont; the Biosphere and environmentally related exhibits; the interesting architecture of the olympic stadium; our trip to the gay sauna....; staying basically above a gay bar; and just spending time away from Boston with a friend who I've quickly grown close to.
That's about it really, just wanted to quickly write this entry to remind myself of the Montreal trip. Work is OK, not great, although I've settled into my new position and things are slow but kind of progressing at least.
Highlights of the trip were; seeing the spectacular autumn foliage on the way up and back through hilly Vermont, plus the awesome bridges over the lakes in upper Vermont; the Biosphere and environmentally related exhibits; the interesting architecture of the olympic stadium; our trip to the gay sauna....; staying basically above a gay bar; and just spending time away from Boston with a friend who I've quickly grown close to.
That's about it really, just wanted to quickly write this entry to remind myself of the Montreal trip. Work is OK, not great, although I've settled into my new position and things are slow but kind of progressing at least.
31 August 2008
Ptown
It's Labor Day long weekend, which marks the last weekend of summer, and it's been a beauty. The weather is gorgeous, my mood is good, this is Boston at its finest. I spent today (Sunday) rollerblading with Sven on Memorial Drive (a busy road in Cambridge that's closed off each Sunday during August to allow people to enjoy a stretch of traffic-free road), and lying in a park enjoying the sun after Sven left.
Saturday was spent at Provincetown (Ptown) on Cape Cod (the Cape), a beach-side hamlet that's accessible by a 90 min ferry ride. Ptown is a mini gay haven. Rainbow flags line the quaint main street of shops and eateries, buff gay guys strut around in tight summer singlets casually mingling with lesbians, families and straight tourists alike. It's an idyllic seaside town with the promise of late-night clubbing and hedonistic parties. My Ptown trip was spent with Sven and Rahmat, a girl from Sven's department at the Picower Institute, MIT. They had their bikes and I rented one once we arrived. Sven was particularly grateful to escape the roiling ferry as he was sick due to the somewhat bumpy seas. The weather was slightly overcast but still warm, bright and pleasant.
It's been around 8 years since I last rode a bike, and although I fell a few times (once on the main street in front of dozens of people no less) and was swervingly unsteady on occasion, the old adage of not forgetting how to ride a bike came to fruition, and we spent the day cycling around town, along scenic seaside back trails to beaches, and had a brunch of cheese, crusty bread and beer on a man-made rock pier-like structure that streched into a calm and mostly still ocean. Between cycling and laying on the beach, the day passed quickly, which ended on a high note at an unexpected location.
Early in the day Sven mentioned that he heard of an infamous dock in Ptown with the sophisticated name of 'Dick Dock'. Neither he nor I knew where it was and exactly what purpose the Dick Dock served, although we made some pretty educated guesses. To completely solve the mystery, we drew straws (leaves actually) to see who would suffer the indignity of asking a Ptown local about the Dock. Of course I drew the short leaf. This was how I found myself asking the waitress serving our lunch at a terrible Thai place, what and where this elusive Dick Dock was. Although somewhat puzzled at my question, her reply was a crushing "Err, I have no idea".
Facing the inconceivable possibility of never finding what the Dick Dock was, we were amusingly dejected, with much laughter and praise at my bold questioning. However, we were soon delighted to find that the waitress had asked another server, a very gay guy, about my query. He was very adorable and cute, but not my type, and he explained to us that the Dick Dock was an area under a club right on the beach where guys would go after the clubs shut to, well, in his words "get whatever they wanted", wink, wink, nudge, nudge. The location of the Dock was revealed and we instantly knew where it was, as we had passed a club with booming music on the main drag and had joked that perhaps the Dick Dock was there. How prescient of us. We also learned that the Dick Dock was widely known and accepted in Ptown, and that free condoms and lube were handed out by an AIDS prevention charity to the deabuchered masses each night. Hooray!
We left the restaurant, dissatisfied with our crappy meal, but ecstatic that we had solved the Dick Dock enigma. It was a little after 6 pm, but the sun was still up and we still had around an hour before our ferry home was due to depart. After some deliberation and scoping of the mostly outdoors club from the beach, we decided to have a drink in the club in order to at least partially experience the Dick Dock fame.
One deciding factor for me was that I spied a cute guy in the club from the beach, and Sven and Rahmat decided that I was going to speak to the cutie, whether I felt brave enough or not. What friends.
The club was really an outdoor patio (with the sandy Dick Dock underneath), there was a packed dance area inside. Being Labor Day, the "Tea Party" event was packed, mostly with older guys and the obligatory over the top aging drag queens. Feeling quite youthful, I grabbed a beer and began hunting for the stripey shirt guy, a young bloke, thin, short sandy hairy, nice legs. The speakers were pumping out faithful gay dance remixes, and we split up to locate my boy.
It was Sven who found him near the back, along the railing that overlooked the beach. Overcoming my initial shyness, I took the opportunity of his friend departing to sidle alongside him on the railing. Meanwhile, Sven was already immersed in a conversation with a slightly older but attractive bloke next to me.
First contact with the boy, James from NY, was made by a remark of mine about his prime position along the railing and having the fantastic view of the sun setting over the harbour. Unexpectedly, he seemed interested in me and we quickly spoke about our day and where we were from. He enjoyed my Aussieness and postdoc status, and just when everything was looking promising, his friend emerged from the crowd, saying that his friends were all ready to leave for a barbeque. It was such a sudden and quick death blow, that I was totally off guard, and we shook hands and he departed before a slight hesitation, leaving me kicking myself for not getting his details, despite him living in NY. Oh well, lesson learned, and it was a small ego booster that he seemed interested, so it was successful in that respect.
Sven had better luck apparently, as when I turned around he was having an embrace and a kiss with his guy. Later I found out he had gotten a proposition to stay in Ptown and forget the ferry Sven was insistent on taking. A wingman is not supposed to do better than the mate he's helping dammit!
Soon after, we were on the ferry home, glowingly happy at having had a memorable day in Ptown, and satisfied with our fleeting taste of the ripe pleasantries that are promised with the fabled Dick Dock.
Saturday was spent at Provincetown (Ptown) on Cape Cod (the Cape), a beach-side hamlet that's accessible by a 90 min ferry ride. Ptown is a mini gay haven. Rainbow flags line the quaint main street of shops and eateries, buff gay guys strut around in tight summer singlets casually mingling with lesbians, families and straight tourists alike. It's an idyllic seaside town with the promise of late-night clubbing and hedonistic parties. My Ptown trip was spent with Sven and Rahmat, a girl from Sven's department at the Picower Institute, MIT. They had their bikes and I rented one once we arrived. Sven was particularly grateful to escape the roiling ferry as he was sick due to the somewhat bumpy seas. The weather was slightly overcast but still warm, bright and pleasant.
It's been around 8 years since I last rode a bike, and although I fell a few times (once on the main street in front of dozens of people no less) and was swervingly unsteady on occasion, the old adage of not forgetting how to ride a bike came to fruition, and we spent the day cycling around town, along scenic seaside back trails to beaches, and had a brunch of cheese, crusty bread and beer on a man-made rock pier-like structure that streched into a calm and mostly still ocean. Between cycling and laying on the beach, the day passed quickly, which ended on a high note at an unexpected location.
Early in the day Sven mentioned that he heard of an infamous dock in Ptown with the sophisticated name of 'Dick Dock'. Neither he nor I knew where it was and exactly what purpose the Dick Dock served, although we made some pretty educated guesses. To completely solve the mystery, we drew straws (leaves actually) to see who would suffer the indignity of asking a Ptown local about the Dock. Of course I drew the short leaf. This was how I found myself asking the waitress serving our lunch at a terrible Thai place, what and where this elusive Dick Dock was. Although somewhat puzzled at my question, her reply was a crushing "Err, I have no idea".
Facing the inconceivable possibility of never finding what the Dick Dock was, we were amusingly dejected, with much laughter and praise at my bold questioning. However, we were soon delighted to find that the waitress had asked another server, a very gay guy, about my query. He was very adorable and cute, but not my type, and he explained to us that the Dick Dock was an area under a club right on the beach where guys would go after the clubs shut to, well, in his words "get whatever they wanted", wink, wink, nudge, nudge. The location of the Dock was revealed and we instantly knew where it was, as we had passed a club with booming music on the main drag and had joked that perhaps the Dick Dock was there. How prescient of us. We also learned that the Dick Dock was widely known and accepted in Ptown, and that free condoms and lube were handed out by an AIDS prevention charity to the deabuchered masses each night. Hooray!
We left the restaurant, dissatisfied with our crappy meal, but ecstatic that we had solved the Dick Dock enigma. It was a little after 6 pm, but the sun was still up and we still had around an hour before our ferry home was due to depart. After some deliberation and scoping of the mostly outdoors club from the beach, we decided to have a drink in the club in order to at least partially experience the Dick Dock fame.
One deciding factor for me was that I spied a cute guy in the club from the beach, and Sven and Rahmat decided that I was going to speak to the cutie, whether I felt brave enough or not. What friends.
The club was really an outdoor patio (with the sandy Dick Dock underneath), there was a packed dance area inside. Being Labor Day, the "Tea Party" event was packed, mostly with older guys and the obligatory over the top aging drag queens. Feeling quite youthful, I grabbed a beer and began hunting for the stripey shirt guy, a young bloke, thin, short sandy hairy, nice legs. The speakers were pumping out faithful gay dance remixes, and we split up to locate my boy.
It was Sven who found him near the back, along the railing that overlooked the beach. Overcoming my initial shyness, I took the opportunity of his friend departing to sidle alongside him on the railing. Meanwhile, Sven was already immersed in a conversation with a slightly older but attractive bloke next to me.
First contact with the boy, James from NY, was made by a remark of mine about his prime position along the railing and having the fantastic view of the sun setting over the harbour. Unexpectedly, he seemed interested in me and we quickly spoke about our day and where we were from. He enjoyed my Aussieness and postdoc status, and just when everything was looking promising, his friend emerged from the crowd, saying that his friends were all ready to leave for a barbeque. It was such a sudden and quick death blow, that I was totally off guard, and we shook hands and he departed before a slight hesitation, leaving me kicking myself for not getting his details, despite him living in NY. Oh well, lesson learned, and it was a small ego booster that he seemed interested, so it was successful in that respect.
Sven had better luck apparently, as when I turned around he was having an embrace and a kiss with his guy. Later I found out he had gotten a proposition to stay in Ptown and forget the ferry Sven was insistent on taking. A wingman is not supposed to do better than the mate he's helping dammit!
Soon after, we were on the ferry home, glowingly happy at having had a memorable day in Ptown, and satisfied with our fleeting taste of the ripe pleasantries that are promised with the fabled Dick Dock.
21 August 2008
Wow. Racecar. Wow.
Never odd or even.
Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog.
Satan, oscillate my metallic sonatas.
Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog.
Satan, oscillate my metallic sonatas.
16 August 2008
12 pennies for my thoughts
It's Saturday evening and I'm in the lab, procrastinating and wasting time before dinner with Sue and Till. Sitting here, I just realized that someone stole 12 cents off my desk! On Friday, I had 12 pennies stacked neatly on my desk to remind myself to go to the post-office for stamps. The day was hectic, partly due to a four hour meeting with my boss, and I totally ran out of time for stamp shopping, so the pennies remained desktop bound, ready for their future fate at the post-office. Well, not anymore, bastard thieves (probably the cleaners). Seriously, who the hell steals 12 cents, it's not enough to buy anything... except stamps I guess. Sigh.
Speaking of money matters, I'm totally broke after my trips to Chicago last week and Rochester, NY the week before for Fari's wedding, so it was a nice surprise that last night for restaurant week at Mantra my share of the bill was 64 cents -- they totally botched the charge on my card, it should have been around $50. I was hesitant to sign and bolt, but the rest of the table thought it was a good deal and bailed on me. In the end I left Emre to sign my docket and fill in the tip, a generous 40%!
Well gotta go, Japanese dinner awaits.
Update: Mantra ended up charging me the full cost of the bill. Bastards.
Speaking of money matters, I'm totally broke after my trips to Chicago last week and Rochester, NY the week before for Fari's wedding, so it was a nice surprise that last night for restaurant week at Mantra my share of the bill was 64 cents -- they totally botched the charge on my card, it should have been around $50. I was hesitant to sign and bolt, but the rest of the table thought it was a good deal and bailed on me. In the end I left Emre to sign my docket and fill in the tip, a generous 40%!
Well gotta go, Japanese dinner awaits.
Update: Mantra ended up charging me the full cost of the bill. Bastards.
10 July 2008
An update
It's 4 minutes to midnight on a school-night. I have to get up early tomorrow morning, but that's OK because I'm totally drunk. It's been a while since I last updated and what better way to break the blogging drought than while pissed. So, what's been happening? Well...
... my mum and brother came to visit last month for a few days. It was fun having them around. I took them to my favourite restaurants, we ate ourselves silly, and I showed them around Boston a bit. It was very weird seeing them again after a year apart; I've certainly missed them. They had a great time by all accounts.
... I started my new job at MIT. My boss is nice (thus far) and the Broad Institute is something else. It's very high-tech and fancy, and I feel absolutely out of my league. It's my last chance at making something out of my postdoc, so we'll see how it goes. The commute sucks and a girl in the lab hates me, but that's another story....sigh. I miss the people in my old lab...
... because of my new job I'm quite stressed out and very insecure about everything. Often I have no idea what the hell I'm doing here and whether it's worth it or not. I want to return home constantly.
... my turtle Fetch is growing up and quickly filling his little tank.
... Eli my plant (a Lily) is not faring so well and is barely clinging to life, although he has sprouted two new leaves recently, therefore giving me hope that he'll survive through the summer at least.
... summer is in full force with 30 degree days, very humid and frequent thunderstorms, but no fucking cold winter bullshit thanks be the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Ramen.
... I'm in a state of bewilderment regarding Sven, the cute MIT postdoc who I'm not seeing, but would like to. It's messed up and totally messing me up.
... have started/trying to rollerblading! Kind of fun in a falling over making ass of oneself kind of way (Sven's fault).
... looking forward to my friend Fari's wedding in upstate NY and the reception in Chicago early August. I'm so excited for her!! I've been there from the beginning when she met her future husband, and to see her happy and hitched is a real buzz.
... I was planning to visit Sydney this December but don't think I can make it, so am very sad about that :-(
... my gym regime is fully screwed because of work and laziness. I fear that I'm turning into an obese blob.
So that's it, too drunk to write more. Later.
... my mum and brother came to visit last month for a few days. It was fun having them around. I took them to my favourite restaurants, we ate ourselves silly, and I showed them around Boston a bit. It was very weird seeing them again after a year apart; I've certainly missed them. They had a great time by all accounts.
... I started my new job at MIT. My boss is nice (thus far) and the Broad Institute is something else. It's very high-tech and fancy, and I feel absolutely out of my league. It's my last chance at making something out of my postdoc, so we'll see how it goes. The commute sucks and a girl in the lab hates me, but that's another story....sigh. I miss the people in my old lab...
... because of my new job I'm quite stressed out and very insecure about everything. Often I have no idea what the hell I'm doing here and whether it's worth it or not. I want to return home constantly.
... my turtle Fetch is growing up and quickly filling his little tank.
... Eli my plant (a Lily) is not faring so well and is barely clinging to life, although he has sprouted two new leaves recently, therefore giving me hope that he'll survive through the summer at least.
... summer is in full force with 30 degree days, very humid and frequent thunderstorms, but no fucking cold winter bullshit thanks be the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Ramen.
... I'm in a state of bewilderment regarding Sven, the cute MIT postdoc who I'm not seeing, but would like to. It's messed up and totally messing me up.
... have started/trying to rollerblading! Kind of fun in a falling over making ass of oneself kind of way (Sven's fault).
... looking forward to my friend Fari's wedding in upstate NY and the reception in Chicago early August. I'm so excited for her!! I've been there from the beginning when she met her future husband, and to see her happy and hitched is a real buzz.
... I was planning to visit Sydney this December but don't think I can make it, so am very sad about that :-(
... my gym regime is fully screwed because of work and laziness. I fear that I'm turning into an obese blob.
So that's it, too drunk to write more. Later.
3 May 2008
Quality of life
We all want "quality" in life. We're all guilty of aspiring to the finer things in our brief, fumbling existence on this globe. Whether it's in materialistic goods (a nice car or fancy technology), or on a deeper level (meaningful relationships, finding the perfect life-partner), wanting "the best" threatens to consume us all. It blinds us to the fortunes we already possess, whatever those may be.
We all want quality living and we convince ourselves that we deserve a quality life. But are we simply deluding ourselves about what we can really attain in life? When should we "settle" with what we have? How do we reconcile ourselves in accepting that the less than desirable facets of our lives may well be the best that we'll ever get? It's not easy. It requires a re-examination of our own sense of worth and a brutal acceptance that maybe we aren't as good as we think, or that those close to us tell us that we are.
Lately I've been ruing the fact that I haven't found a quality guy. Sure I get to fuck the (very) occasional guy, but it seems all I ever get is "quantity". My definition of quantity is someone who scores less than 5 (out of 10) on the looks scale, who may not be the greatest conversationalist or thinker, and who is not overall "put together"; basically the majority of single gays in Boston. A quality guy would be the opposite of course. Wherever I turn, it seems that quality is everywhere, but nowhere around me. Of course I want the smoking hot, at least semi-intelligent, unpretentious, passionate boy who is as keen about me as I them, but maybe it's time I re-evaluate my prospects and realise that the sexy, cute boy of my dreams may never materialise in my lifetime. This mentality is not about giving up the search for a quality partner, but rather, tempering my expectations with reality.
As the big three-zero looms on the horizon, the possibility of finding the ideal soul-mate becomes a frightening prospect. Maybe it's time to settle after all...
We all want quality living and we convince ourselves that we deserve a quality life. But are we simply deluding ourselves about what we can really attain in life? When should we "settle" with what we have? How do we reconcile ourselves in accepting that the less than desirable facets of our lives may well be the best that we'll ever get? It's not easy. It requires a re-examination of our own sense of worth and a brutal acceptance that maybe we aren't as good as we think, or that those close to us tell us that we are.
Lately I've been ruing the fact that I haven't found a quality guy. Sure I get to fuck the (very) occasional guy, but it seems all I ever get is "quantity". My definition of quantity is someone who scores less than 5 (out of 10) on the looks scale, who may not be the greatest conversationalist or thinker, and who is not overall "put together"; basically the majority of single gays in Boston. A quality guy would be the opposite of course. Wherever I turn, it seems that quality is everywhere, but nowhere around me. Of course I want the smoking hot, at least semi-intelligent, unpretentious, passionate boy who is as keen about me as I them, but maybe it's time I re-evaluate my prospects and realise that the sexy, cute boy of my dreams may never materialise in my lifetime. This mentality is not about giving up the search for a quality partner, but rather, tempering my expectations with reality.
As the big three-zero looms on the horizon, the possibility of finding the ideal soul-mate becomes a frightening prospect. Maybe it's time to settle after all...
14 March 2008
A life of breaks
'Break' is such a useful word. I like it. It's a harsh and abrupt sounding word and not pleasant to say or hear, but still, I like it. It's short and to the point. It's a word that covers so many emotions, outcomes and actions. Look it up. Type "define: break" in Google and look at the definitions, there are many.
Even though Spring has yet to arrive temperature-wise, it's Spring break here in Boston. College students take this time to flee the months of nasty Winter by celebrating the end of class in exotic, sunny locations: Cancun, Mexico and the like. See, breaks can be good.
We all want to take, get, hope for a break in life. Breaks are the keys to success, happiness and new adventures, or so I've been told. I've had a parade of significant disappointments recently. "Give me a break" has become my new motto.
When breaks are bad, they can be devastating. To be broke, broken down on the side of the road, broken-hearted, or to have a break-up, are all very bad. The negative power of "break" is presented to us beautifully in Brokeback Mountatin, which is one of my favourite films. By telling the story of a tragic romance, the movie captures and distills the breaks, both rewarding and tragic, that we all share in life to expose some harsh realities of love and consequence.
Even in a seemingly bad context, breaks can be good. We say "Break a leg" to someone for good luck. Odd, huh?
Overall, we all cop our fair share of good and bad breaks. At the moment, I'm just hoping to break even in life.
Even though Spring has yet to arrive temperature-wise, it's Spring break here in Boston. College students take this time to flee the months of nasty Winter by celebrating the end of class in exotic, sunny locations: Cancun, Mexico and the like. See, breaks can be good.
We all want to take, get, hope for a break in life. Breaks are the keys to success, happiness and new adventures, or so I've been told. I've had a parade of significant disappointments recently. "Give me a break" has become my new motto.
When breaks are bad, they can be devastating. To be broke, broken down on the side of the road, broken-hearted, or to have a break-up, are all very bad. The negative power of "break" is presented to us beautifully in Brokeback Mountatin, which is one of my favourite films. By telling the story of a tragic romance, the movie captures and distills the breaks, both rewarding and tragic, that we all share in life to expose some harsh realities of love and consequence.
Even in a seemingly bad context, breaks can be good. We say "Break a leg" to someone for good luck. Odd, huh?
Overall, we all cop our fair share of good and bad breaks. At the moment, I'm just hoping to break even in life.
9 March 2008
Le Petit Prince
The Little Prince (by Antoine de Saint-Exupery) is a kids book, of sorts. The book is illustrated and easy to read, but carries a profound message about love, innocence and self-discovery. The writing is simple and elegant, and the story is childishly captivating. It's a classic piece of literature that you must read! (You can finish it in one sitting). To really appreciate the beauty of the novel and its message, check out these SparkNotes.
Read The Little Prince and maybe you'll never look at the stars the same again.
Read The Little Prince and maybe you'll never look at the stars the same again.
21 January 2008
17 January 2008
A welcome back
"What's this?" sneered the immigration officer behind the desk. I looked at my crisp, neatly typed documents that had just been cast onto the counter before returning my gaze at the imposing uniformed figure in front me. The officer maintained his disdainful glare at my presence. Confused at the unexpected question, my brain fought to formulate a coherent response. The 2 week long holiday in Great Britain and Spain, combined with the just completed 7 and 1/2 hour flight from London had deadened my senses and I struggled to comprehend my unexpected situation.
The room at Boston airport that I had found myself in was fairly large, with several rows of seats facing a counter where 6 immigration officers presided. Resplendent in their black uniforms and gold badges, they formed an intimidating human barrier for entry into the US. A two-way mirror spanned the length of the room, and security cameras maintained a silent vigil over the proceedings. Save one other Middle Eastern looking individual I was the sole foreigner in this 'Secondary inspection' area of US immigration. I had been led to this room after alighting the plane and presenting myself to immigration, a process that had been a mere formality during my numerous other entries into the States. Since I have a valid work-visa and am an Australian citizen, I had no idea why I was being so intensely scrutinized this time around.
Even though several officers were unoccupied when I was escorted into the secondary inspection room, it was several minutes before I was called up to be questioned.
At the counter, after a few routine questions including what did I do ("medical scientist") and whether I had a valid working visa ("yes I do") I was confronted with the sudden, angrily toned question of "What's this?", in reference to my document that had been thrown in front of me like trash. The paper was not trash, but was extra documentation from my workplace that further supported the validity of the visa in my passport.
I was stunned by the sudden hostility of the officer. My treatment made me feel like I had no right to be on US soil. Everything I had endured and accomplished in order to earn the right to work in the US - my PhD, the job interviews, the stressful move overseas - were temporarily stripped away during this brief moment. As for the question, I finally replied that the person taking care of my visa at work had supplied me the letter and had said that I may need to show it upon returning to Boston. Satisfied with the answer, the officer abruptly dropped the stern demeanour, informed me that I was "all set" and proceeded to make some light banter as he stamped my passport. I stumbled out of the room to collect my luggage, feeling bewildered with the experience.
It was with regret that I had boarded the plane to Boston earlier that day, as it meant that my holiday had ended and the stresses of work were imminent. Being an acutely sensitive individual, my immigration experience had further soured my mood and after arriving home I just wanted to leave the States again and not return. Sure I understand border protection is necessary. What I don't understand is the requirement to treat people impolitely in the process of merely confirming an individuals credentials (it wasn't as if my visa had expired); I guess it's easy to do so when you're in a position of power. Well at least I wasn't in immigration for very long, unlike some of the horror stories I've heard about where people with valid visas were detained for several hours as their visas status was confirmed.
So that was my welcome back to Boston last week. Not a great start to my Boston 2008 experience, nor is this a very inspiring 61st entry for Status: +61, but hey, c'est la vie. Oh yeah, a very belated Happy New Year!
The room at Boston airport that I had found myself in was fairly large, with several rows of seats facing a counter where 6 immigration officers presided. Resplendent in their black uniforms and gold badges, they formed an intimidating human barrier for entry into the US. A two-way mirror spanned the length of the room, and security cameras maintained a silent vigil over the proceedings. Save one other Middle Eastern looking individual I was the sole foreigner in this 'Secondary inspection' area of US immigration. I had been led to this room after alighting the plane and presenting myself to immigration, a process that had been a mere formality during my numerous other entries into the States. Since I have a valid work-visa and am an Australian citizen, I had no idea why I was being so intensely scrutinized this time around.
Even though several officers were unoccupied when I was escorted into the secondary inspection room, it was several minutes before I was called up to be questioned.
At the counter, after a few routine questions including what did I do ("medical scientist") and whether I had a valid working visa ("yes I do") I was confronted with the sudden, angrily toned question of "What's this?", in reference to my document that had been thrown in front of me like trash. The paper was not trash, but was extra documentation from my workplace that further supported the validity of the visa in my passport.
I was stunned by the sudden hostility of the officer. My treatment made me feel like I had no right to be on US soil. Everything I had endured and accomplished in order to earn the right to work in the US - my PhD, the job interviews, the stressful move overseas - were temporarily stripped away during this brief moment. As for the question, I finally replied that the person taking care of my visa at work had supplied me the letter and had said that I may need to show it upon returning to Boston. Satisfied with the answer, the officer abruptly dropped the stern demeanour, informed me that I was "all set" and proceeded to make some light banter as he stamped my passport. I stumbled out of the room to collect my luggage, feeling bewildered with the experience.
It was with regret that I had boarded the plane to Boston earlier that day, as it meant that my holiday had ended and the stresses of work were imminent. Being an acutely sensitive individual, my immigration experience had further soured my mood and after arriving home I just wanted to leave the States again and not return. Sure I understand border protection is necessary. What I don't understand is the requirement to treat people impolitely in the process of merely confirming an individuals credentials (it wasn't as if my visa had expired); I guess it's easy to do so when you're in a position of power. Well at least I wasn't in immigration for very long, unlike some of the horror stories I've heard about where people with valid visas were detained for several hours as their visas status was confirmed.
So that was my welcome back to Boston last week. Not a great start to my Boston 2008 experience, nor is this a very inspiring 61st entry for Status: +61, but hey, c'est la vie. Oh yeah, a very belated Happy New Year!
23 December 2007
An update
Name: Ben.
Hometown: Sydney, New South Wales, Australia.
Current Location: Boston, Massachusetts, USA.
Work: My project has yielded some promising results, so that's a positive. I don't find my project particularly interesting or beneficial for me career-wise, so that's a negative. Additionally, my current research isn't really that congruent with my PhD training, and it's not what I want to research in the future, score more negatives. I came to Boston to gain experience such that I could return to Sydney and consider starting my own lab. My current position isn't facilitating this ambition so I'm scoping alternate labs, with the aim of starting afresh early next year. So this work transition is totally stressing me out. Work score = 4/10
Family: My family is dysfunctional to say the least. Brother is still recovering from his psychosis and remains out of the workforce. Dad continues being a selfish asshole that makes me ashamed to be his son. Mum is overworked and always stressed due to Brother's illness and Dad's antics. Since I am the only family member she can really speak to, she misses me significantly. I'm constantly battling the feeling of guilt over leaving her (and Brother) to pursue a life on the other side of the world. Still, things on the family front aren't as volatile as they have been previously. Family score = 5/10.
Friends: Bing and Lulu continue to be my extremely compassionate guides here in Boston, I owe them a lot. They're like caring older siblings, who are wiser, reassuring and less erratic than me. I continue to talk with them extensively about my work dilemmas and Boston life in general. My two very close friends in the lab, Maestro and Ariel have been extremely considerate and are two really positive people who are fun to hang out with. I'll blog about our time together in future posts. Bay-buddy is constantly supportive and has helped me out immensely, but since he is no longer in the lab we only catch up weekly or so. Of course there's Ex-flatmate and my other long-time mates, GK, Entrepreneur, The Scotsman, Ace & Surfermate, providing essential support +61. Friends score = 9/10.
Love: My status is single. Very, very single. Sigh. I didn't blog about it, but there was an Irish guy, Sean, who I am no longer seeing, but it's OK as it never seemed to be a serious long-term relationship from the beginning. There just wasn't that 'something' between us, but we had some great times, he was charming and damn his accent was adorable (of course he said the same about my Aussie speech). I haven't been particularly proactive in finding a boyfriend recently and this is something I'm seeking to improve on in the immediate future. Love score = 3/10.
Mental health: Between my family and career, it's been a particularly uncertain and worrisome period of my life. Boston still continues to show me novel experiences that makes me feel as if I'm moving forward in my life, perhaps not always in an anticipated direction or as smoothly as expected, but still 'proceeding' nonetheless. There have been times when I've been on the precipice of slipping into depression again, but thankfully this has been avoided. A few weeks of being generally melancholic is the worst I've felt. Mental health score = 6/10.
Physical health: The gym is one of my favourite places. Maestro and I go regularly. We not only train together and motivate each other, but the gym is our place to discuss the lab and everything else in our lives. It's one of our sanctuaries away from work where we can work-out and goof around. I also feel that the exercise-induced endorphins are a key to me avoiding depression. With winter here, running outside is no longer an option, so the gym has become crucial to my mental and physical well-being. I'm definitely as fit as I've ever been, although an underwear-model-worthy six-pack still eludes me, so minus one point. Physical health score = 8/10.
Overall: It's been an emotional, life-changing year, and compared to some other awful years, 2007 ranks as a good one. My Boston life could obviously have been better work-wise (and relationship wise), but in the end this is irrelevant as it could have been much worse. It's difficult to not regret or overanalyse certain decisions I've made in, and leading up to, Boston life, but I'm trying to remain pragmatic and positive about my current situation.
With the close of another year, it's natural to take stock of our lives and resolve to improve on the less optimal parts. I'm looking forward to the challenges of next year. It's not going to be any easier that's for sure, but that as they say, is life. There's no guarantee that I'll rant any less, but I'll try to rave a bit more. My Boston adventure is just getting interesting, I feel that it's "maturing". Should be an intriguing next couple of months.
Blogging was initially designed to keep my mates up to date with my activities here, and it has also been cathartic and immensely enjoyable, I anticipate blogging through next year.
Life is always a struggle, and as one individual amongst the 6,639,361,044 current inhabitants on this world, I try to remind myself that I'm very fortunate to be in my current position. For those of us living relatively privileged lives (I'd imagine the majority reading this blog fits into this category), it's always refreshing to look outside of our daily microcosm and gain a wider perspective on the grander scheme of humanity. Considering I'm not fighting for survival in a war-torn country or suffering from a debilitating illness, it's clear that having an ideal job or being in a loving relationship, really are luxuries in life.
Of course we all know these realities, but it's not often that we actually remember them.
Having the opportunity to live abroad in a great city, getting a PhD, having a Macbook Pro to play with, hanging out with some amazing friends and having a loving (albeit messed up) family are luxuries in my life. I shouldn't complain.
Well that's my current status and the last post until I return to Boston from my European holiday (I fly out in a few hours and still have to pack, shit!). To my mates, enjoy the Sydney summer, don't go too crazy over NYE (I'm looking at you Scotsman), and if there's anything I've been reminded of from living in Boston, it's to be a little more bold and dip outside your comfort zone from time to time, who knows what you'll gain. Miss you guys immeasurably. To everyone reading this, may the New Year find you safe and well. My overall score remains = +61.
Hometown: Sydney, New South Wales, Australia.
Current Location: Boston, Massachusetts, USA.
Work: My project has yielded some promising results, so that's a positive. I don't find my project particularly interesting or beneficial for me career-wise, so that's a negative. Additionally, my current research isn't really that congruent with my PhD training, and it's not what I want to research in the future, score more negatives. I came to Boston to gain experience such that I could return to Sydney and consider starting my own lab. My current position isn't facilitating this ambition so I'm scoping alternate labs, with the aim of starting afresh early next year. So this work transition is totally stressing me out. Work score = 4/10
Family: My family is dysfunctional to say the least. Brother is still recovering from his psychosis and remains out of the workforce. Dad continues being a selfish asshole that makes me ashamed to be his son. Mum is overworked and always stressed due to Brother's illness and Dad's antics. Since I am the only family member she can really speak to, she misses me significantly. I'm constantly battling the feeling of guilt over leaving her (and Brother) to pursue a life on the other side of the world. Still, things on the family front aren't as volatile as they have been previously. Family score = 5/10.
Friends: Bing and Lulu continue to be my extremely compassionate guides here in Boston, I owe them a lot. They're like caring older siblings, who are wiser, reassuring and less erratic than me. I continue to talk with them extensively about my work dilemmas and Boston life in general. My two very close friends in the lab, Maestro and Ariel have been extremely considerate and are two really positive people who are fun to hang out with. I'll blog about our time together in future posts. Bay-buddy is constantly supportive and has helped me out immensely, but since he is no longer in the lab we only catch up weekly or so. Of course there's Ex-flatmate and my other long-time mates, GK, Entrepreneur, The Scotsman, Ace & Surfermate, providing essential support +61. Friends score = 9/10.
Love: My status is single. Very, very single. Sigh. I didn't blog about it, but there was an Irish guy, Sean, who I am no longer seeing, but it's OK as it never seemed to be a serious long-term relationship from the beginning. There just wasn't that 'something' between us, but we had some great times, he was charming and damn his accent was adorable (of course he said the same about my Aussie speech). I haven't been particularly proactive in finding a boyfriend recently and this is something I'm seeking to improve on in the immediate future. Love score = 3/10.
Mental health: Between my family and career, it's been a particularly uncertain and worrisome period of my life. Boston still continues to show me novel experiences that makes me feel as if I'm moving forward in my life, perhaps not always in an anticipated direction or as smoothly as expected, but still 'proceeding' nonetheless. There have been times when I've been on the precipice of slipping into depression again, but thankfully this has been avoided. A few weeks of being generally melancholic is the worst I've felt. Mental health score = 6/10.
Physical health: The gym is one of my favourite places. Maestro and I go regularly. We not only train together and motivate each other, but the gym is our place to discuss the lab and everything else in our lives. It's one of our sanctuaries away from work where we can work-out and goof around. I also feel that the exercise-induced endorphins are a key to me avoiding depression. With winter here, running outside is no longer an option, so the gym has become crucial to my mental and physical well-being. I'm definitely as fit as I've ever been, although an underwear-model-worthy six-pack still eludes me, so minus one point. Physical health score = 8/10.
Overall: It's been an emotional, life-changing year, and compared to some other awful years, 2007 ranks as a good one. My Boston life could obviously have been better work-wise (and relationship wise), but in the end this is irrelevant as it could have been much worse. It's difficult to not regret or overanalyse certain decisions I've made in, and leading up to, Boston life, but I'm trying to remain pragmatic and positive about my current situation.
With the close of another year, it's natural to take stock of our lives and resolve to improve on the less optimal parts. I'm looking forward to the challenges of next year. It's not going to be any easier that's for sure, but that as they say, is life. There's no guarantee that I'll rant any less, but I'll try to rave a bit more. My Boston adventure is just getting interesting, I feel that it's "maturing". Should be an intriguing next couple of months.
Blogging was initially designed to keep my mates up to date with my activities here, and it has also been cathartic and immensely enjoyable, I anticipate blogging through next year.
Life is always a struggle, and as one individual amongst the 6,639,361,044 current inhabitants on this world, I try to remind myself that I'm very fortunate to be in my current position. For those of us living relatively privileged lives (I'd imagine the majority reading this blog fits into this category), it's always refreshing to look outside of our daily microcosm and gain a wider perspective on the grander scheme of humanity. Considering I'm not fighting for survival in a war-torn country or suffering from a debilitating illness, it's clear that having an ideal job or being in a loving relationship, really are luxuries in life.
Of course we all know these realities, but it's not often that we actually remember them.
Having the opportunity to live abroad in a great city, getting a PhD, having a Macbook Pro to play with, hanging out with some amazing friends and having a loving (albeit messed up) family are luxuries in my life. I shouldn't complain.
Well that's my current status and the last post until I return to Boston from my European holiday (I fly out in a few hours and still have to pack, shit!). To my mates, enjoy the Sydney summer, don't go too crazy over NYE (I'm looking at you Scotsman), and if there's anything I've been reminded of from living in Boston, it's to be a little more bold and dip outside your comfort zone from time to time, who knows what you'll gain. Miss you guys immeasurably. To everyone reading this, may the New Year find you safe and well. My overall score remains = +61.
21 December 2007
A Sydney-free Christmas
It hasn't sunk in yet, but Christmas and the New Year are around the corner. All the familiar cues I usually associate with Christmas are missing; it isn't hot, the smell of mangoes ripening in the fruitbowl is missing, and there haven't been any Christmas party barbeques on the beach, no beers in a mate's yard. Instead, it's chilly and beautifully snowy at the moment.
It won't be a Boston Christmas for me however. In two days I'm off to London to visit my cousin, and then we're off to Spain where I'll spend my New Years Eve in Barcelona. Since I've never been to the UK or Spain I'm bloody excited, plus reaching London will only take 6 and 1/2 hours, as opposed to the gruelling ~24 hour Sydney to London travel time.
I think travelling overseas is a rite of passage for many young Australians. It isn't uncommon for Australian high-school leavers to spend a year or so overseas (typically in the UK) before starting university or a full-time job, and almost everyone I know has travelled abroad as much as possible. Perhaps it's just the adventurous and friendly nature of many Australians that sends us across the globe to meet new people. Living on our own continent, and being so geographically isolated, maybe travelling helps us Aussies reconnect with the rest of humanity. Whatever it is, I can't wait to travel again.
I've been fortunate enough to have visited several countries in Europe and Asia, but the map of unvisited countries and the empty space in my passport gnaws at my desire to travel. Travelling forces you to break free from the comfort of routine life and embrace new experiences (and people if you're lucky...). Regardless of the destination, every trip for me has been a lesson in independence, creativity and endurance. Plus, to encounter the generosity and genuine friendliness of strangers whilst visiting a poorer country is a humbling experience, it gives a refreshing perspective to life.
The past week has been bloody hectic, but now that it's over, I can concentrate on packing etc. for my impending trip. Here are a few sites that I use for my travel plans:
Tickets: Cheaptickets, Kayak and Expedia (also for accommodation)
Accommodation: Hostelworld, Venere
Avoid the horrors of "Seat 29E" (I highly recommend viewing the hilarious, original customer complaint by clicking the link to the PDF) by using Seatguru to make the best choice for your airplane seat.
For those overpackers amongst us, pack your luggage efficiently and keep your shirts wrinkle-free by following this diagram and these tips on "bundle wrapping".
If you are travelling soon, keep safe, have fun and be nice to any Aussies you might meet along the way.
Before he left the States recently, Ex-flatmate was kind enough to give me a book entitled "Conversational Spanish in 7 Days", which should make my Spain travels considerably easier. I'm not entirely confident of the book's 7 day claim, but if a Spaniard should ask me "Puede cambiar el neumatico?" I can definitely say "Si".
It won't be a Boston Christmas for me however. In two days I'm off to London to visit my cousin, and then we're off to Spain where I'll spend my New Years Eve in Barcelona. Since I've never been to the UK or Spain I'm bloody excited, plus reaching London will only take 6 and 1/2 hours, as opposed to the gruelling ~24 hour Sydney to London travel time.
I think travelling overseas is a rite of passage for many young Australians. It isn't uncommon for Australian high-school leavers to spend a year or so overseas (typically in the UK) before starting university or a full-time job, and almost everyone I know has travelled abroad as much as possible. Perhaps it's just the adventurous and friendly nature of many Australians that sends us across the globe to meet new people. Living on our own continent, and being so geographically isolated, maybe travelling helps us Aussies reconnect with the rest of humanity. Whatever it is, I can't wait to travel again.
I've been fortunate enough to have visited several countries in Europe and Asia, but the map of unvisited countries and the empty space in my passport gnaws at my desire to travel. Travelling forces you to break free from the comfort of routine life and embrace new experiences (and people if you're lucky...). Regardless of the destination, every trip for me has been a lesson in independence, creativity and endurance. Plus, to encounter the generosity and genuine friendliness of strangers whilst visiting a poorer country is a humbling experience, it gives a refreshing perspective to life.
The tourism of death. Travelling the globe is often about visiting the burial places of renowned dead people. From top to bottom: Reverently file past the embalmed body of Ho Chi Minh in Hanoi, Vietnam; Take a donkey ride to the burial place of the Pharaohs at the Valley of the Kings in Luxor, Egypt; Check out Napoleon’s oversized coffin (and the ceiling paintjob) in Paris, France; No dead people, but the Museum of Natural History, New York, USA is a remarkable resting place for dinosaurs and animals from across the globe and history.
The past week has been bloody hectic, but now that it's over, I can concentrate on packing etc. for my impending trip. Here are a few sites that I use for my travel plans:
Tickets: Cheaptickets, Kayak and Expedia (also for accommodation)
Accommodation: Hostelworld, Venere
Avoid the horrors of "Seat 29E" (I highly recommend viewing the hilarious, original customer complaint by clicking the link to the PDF) by using Seatguru to make the best choice for your airplane seat.
For those overpackers amongst us, pack your luggage efficiently and keep your shirts wrinkle-free by following this diagram and these tips on "bundle wrapping".
If you are travelling soon, keep safe, have fun and be nice to any Aussies you might meet along the way.
Before he left the States recently, Ex-flatmate was kind enough to give me a book entitled "Conversational Spanish in 7 Days", which should make my Spain travels considerably easier. I'm not entirely confident of the book's 7 day claim, but if a Spaniard should ask me "Puede cambiar el neumatico?" I can definitely say "Si".
15 December 2007
The soundtrack to survival
We've all had moments in life when everything seems to be spiralling out of control. Desperate, lost and unhappy, you seek solace in friends, family and the pub. Reassured, soothed and tipsy, you're now ready to reclaim your life. If life was a movie, the soundtrack to your heroic rising from the ashes would include the following life-giving tunes, so if you've had a rough trot recently, crank up the volume and loosen the vocal chords. Sing, dance, and feel good.
'Til the End, by The Living End (Aussies), lyrics
Lateralus, by Tool, lyrics
Mr. Brightside, by The Killers, lyrics
Time is Running Out, by Muse, lyrics
Pick You Up, by Powderfinger (Aussies), lyrics
Ready 1, by Grinspoon (Aussies), lyrics
Your Song, by Groove Armada (the only online source for this was on this pony video....enjoy!)
Schwingin, by Bionikworld (Aussies), Myspace
'Til the End, by The Living End (Aussies), lyrics
Lateralus, by Tool, lyrics
Mr. Brightside, by The Killers, lyrics
Time is Running Out, by Muse, lyrics
Pick You Up, by Powderfinger (Aussies), lyrics
Ready 1, by Grinspoon (Aussies), lyrics
Your Song, by Groove Armada (the only online source for this was on this pony video....enjoy!)
Schwingin, by Bionikworld (Aussies), Myspace
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